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Start with an idea you can use, then explore the questions that matter in your marriage.
Start with your part
Strength based marriage is about developing the internal strength to show up differently, especially when it is hard. You can work on how you respond, what you say, and how you treat your partner.
These four guides introduce the ideas behind this approach. Start with differentiation if you are new here.
Differentiation
Hold onto yourself while staying emotionally connected to your partner.
The 50/50 principle
Take an honest look at your own part in the relationship.
Adult love
Explore the difference between feeling love and choosing how you love.
The crucible
Understand how the challenges of marriage can invite personal growth.
Communication
Being honest with your partner also means being willing to hear something you do not agree with. Differentiation explores how to stay connected without needing your partner to share every feeling or opinion.
Read the guide to differentiation →Conflict
The same disagreement can keep bringing you back to the same reactions. The crucible explores the personal growth that difficult moments in marriage can ask of each partner.
Read the guide to the crucible →Trust
Taking responsibility for your part in the relationship means looking beyond what your partner needs to change. The 50/50 principle offers a way to examine your own contribution to the patterns between you.
Read the guide to the 50/50 principle →Intimacy
Closeness asks more of you than a feeling. Adult love explores how to choose care, honesty, and connection as your relationship changes.
Read the guide to adult love →Keep exploring with James
Watch conversations about marriage and relationships, or read more about the ideas behind this work.